Say Apple
by SpoopyPyro
Summary: "It'll take a while for you to adjust to the new body, I'm sure.. you won't feel much of anything for a while... Isn't it exciting to be a part of something to fascinating?" GLaDOS has pulled Wheatley back from the depths of space for a special experiment, leaving him in a new body, and under Chell's reluctant care. (Rated M just in case)
1. Chapter 1

**Hello there! A bit of a foreword before we get down to the good stuff! This will be a story centered around Portal, with elements and aspects from the Half-Life series. They take place in the same universe, and I feel like the events of Half-Life are rather notable with the Portal storyline. So while there may be a few character cameos and mention of other events in the series, this will still be a very Portal-centered story. I have many plans for where this will go, so I hope you enjoy! Without further ado, here we go! -V**

* * *

Space was much bigger than one might think, you know. Yet somehow he always wound up right back in the same bloody set of constellations. Sure, sure, it was beautiful and all, but staring at the same backdrop for countless months could really drain the system of interest. Of course, the same never applied to the yellow-lit core that floated around with him eagerly. The overzealous little thing didn't make for the best company. Day after day, the babbling got a bit tiresome on the more focused of the two AI.

Throughout the endlessly boring days and nights, Wheatley was left with his guilt. He looked back on his memories, on his mistakes, and he pinpointed at which instances he could have done differently, and of course what would come of that. Usually, it still wound up with him being stranded in a vast, starry wasteland. He supposed that was likely what he had deserved, though. He had acted a bit of a twat, after all. Being so small and insignificant for the longevity of your sentience, and suddenly being saddled with absolute power? It was difficult to resist. "Absolute power corrupts absolutely."

 _Heh.._

 _At the time it seemed like a good idea..._

He found himself thinking this quite often.

He was ripped away from his thoughts whenever his only company rammed into him, their hulls clanking together rather painfully. "Ah-! Hey, watch it, would ya? Literally all of the universe at your disposal here. We're not exactly tight on space!" He snapped irritably. His accompanying core responded only with his usual reply of-

 **"SPAAACE!"**

Wheatley let out a soft little sigh, his voice softening, "Yeah, yeah mate. We're both in space..still."

The situation scarcely changed as they drifted for what seemed like ages. Perhaps all of this was his karma for disengaging himself from the rail? That must be it. The days were unclear, and he stopped keeping track after some time. The most interesting development in months was if the two of them drifted a bit farther apart than usual. Other than that, it was just stars, planets...uh, space dust, retrieval robots and-

 _Wait, what was that last one?_

The image had swept by him in a flash of crisp white. He shook and turned his deep blue optic, in an effort to turn his body to try and catch a glimpse of what he thought he had seen. When he turned, he was met with an uncomfortably close visual of an unfamiliar robot. "Ah-!" Wheatley let out a slight exclamation of surprise and veered back slightly. The robot's paint was pure white, a signature of most machines from Aperture. On the side was printed in clean, orange letters, **Aperture Enrichment Center Retrieval Unit.** Wheatley's optic widened slightly as he gazed at the robot that was steadily approaching him once more.

"You, you're here to retrieve me, aren't you? Oh, that's brilliant! Bloody fortunate! Oh, wow, finally! You wouldn't believe how glad I am that-" He paused slightly as something dawned on him. He stopped mid sentence, and after a very brief moment of silence, he began to shake himself side to side profusely, "Wait, no, no, no, nonononono-" He tried to move backwards from the robot, but it already had a hold of one of his handles with an iron vice, and was already dragging the, back through space, trailing along the path it had come. "Wait! Come on, lad Think about this! You, what you are doing right now, is, well, basically dragging me to my death. Yep, you are dragging me straight back to _Her_ , and essentially to my demise, my very very painful demise. Is- is that really what you want to do? We Aperture robots really have to stick together, and right now you are doing the exact opposite of that, of what I just said-" He pleaded, his voice rapid with his attempts to persuade the bot. "No means no!" He quipped out in his frustration.

 _Well,_ he thought to himself, _This is how I die._

* * *

Before he had time to recover from the overwhelming experience of passing through the earth's atmosphere- and bloody stressful that was -he found all of his fear and denial and pleading give leeway to the bright light that nearly blinded the little core. He squinted and turned away slightly, "Ow! Ow ow, okay I understand the ambiance behind it, but is there any possible way for us to dim that light a little?" Even in the face of death itself, he managed to make one sarcastic remark or another.

The light shifted slightly, as a darkened form silhouetted against the rays. The massive, mechanical being leaned herself down, until she blocked out the light almost completely as she gazed down upon him. Her voice was oddly smooth, for that of a machine. However, per usual, there was an undeniable sinister edge to it, lacing through every word with a sort of condescending air about her. _"I'll admit, I'm impressed. I didn't think you'd survive as long as you did out there."_ A few slow, rhythmic claps were heard. _"Oh, good. That's still working. Always good to check, you know."_ She pulled back slightly from the cowering core below her, the light evening out a bit to reveal her more clearly.

"Ah! Yes, uhm, well, yes you're right, there. Definitely right. Always good to, uh, make sure thing are all, in check...in order...in..sequence- you know it's funny, I-" His babbling was cut off, luckily for the both of them.

 _"Such a shame, though. I had a wonderful study going on the effects of zero gravity on mechanisms. You were the perfect candidate, as your screws always were rather loose, figuratively and literally. Unfortunately we had to cut that short for a much more pressing matter..."_ Before he had a chance to inquire, she continued. _"You see, I thought for a long time that after you destroyed my facility, nothing would make me happier than seeing you waste away until your circuits finally fried.."_

"Well, yes that is a, a reasonable reaction to what happened. Very understandable. Speaking of, I love what you've done with the place! Definitely an improvement. Don't know what I was thinking when I-"

GLaDOS's voice turned venomous and razor sharp, _"Quiet, you blathering little idiot."_ She snapped before returning once more to her cool facade she usually kept up so well. _"As I was saying...I realized something. I realized that there was one thing that would make me happier than killing you. Testing. Fulfilling the euphoric need to test gives me no greater pleasure, as I'm sure you remember...The itch scarcely heeds to the whims of mere machines... Compromises must be made."_ A metal claw came out from the darkness of her lair and grasped onto Wheatley none too gently.

"Woah woah WOah! Wait a second! C-Can we talk about this for a moment? Over a nice cup of tea? Er, can of oil? I'm sure there is a reasonable solution that doesn't involve-"

GLaDOS almost seemed to take pleasure in his begging. While normally the sound of his voice made her want to rip herself out of the mainframe, there was something about the pleading tone of fear in his voice that filled her to the brim with satisfaction...and anticipation for what was to happen next. The claw threw him into the machine to the corner of the room, the tube shutting in on him and strapping him in by his handles. His rapid words were muffled by the thick glass. GLaDOS approached slowly as the machine roared to life, causing the lights in the room to flicker. _"Consider this an... experiment.."_ She purred out, the very word sending a ripple of anticipation through her.

Abruptly, the chamber filled up with an unknown gas, and the mechanism at the top shot out electricity into his circuits, conducting through the contaminated air. A bloodcurdling scream from the remorseful little robot sounded throughout the lair, and down the halls of the lab. He felt his core processor shutting down, and he gave one last groan before everything went dark.

* * *

The blinding light that once again filtered through his optic instigated a sharp stab of pain behind his usual mechanism. Now, as Wheatley found himself coming to, he noticed a similar sensation along the rest of his circuits, like needles pricking into his body in steady waves, slowly dying down as he felt an unfamiliar thumping against his hull and handles. A strained groan escaped him.

He moved his optic about, slowly urging the plates before it to open. He was no longer in the chamber he had shut down it. He was on an operating table, of sorts, it seemed.. More to his concern, he was still in _Her_ lair.

 _"Oh. You're awake. How unfortunate. I was growing quite fond of the silence."_

Wheatley felt chills run up through his circuits, as they did every time she spoke through the echo-filled chamber, words assaulting his processors as they so often did. All he could formulate in response to her were a few, incoherent mumbles, "W..Wha...t?" He pushed himself up so he wasn't directly on his circuit panel, but felt a lack of...rolling? Usually when he "sat up" it was quite easy to maneuver his core to a better position, but.. it wasn't as easy as it normally was. He felt his plates and panels creaking in protest as he moved himself to face her properly, not yet noticing what it was that made him feel so out of place yet- let alone the extra appendages.

His oblivious nature baffled GLaDOS even to this day. But she'd be lying if she said it didn't amuse her. _"I'm sure you have a lot of questions. and I do so look forward to seeing how you cope with this... This all must be so confusing for you."_ There was a note of mock sympathy in her tone, condescending until the end. _"See, this is an experiment I've been looking forward to for quite some time.. I was about to try it, actually, and had quite a few different subjects lined up for it.. But I figured the final tests with the portal gun had to come first, before my personal project, thus it got delayed... I thought my remaining human subject would do quite nicely, as I was planning to get rid of her soon anyways-"_

Wheatley had absolutely no idea what the hell she was talking about. Experiment? What experiment could she possible have had in mind that she would hesitate to begin? The mention of Chell stuck out from the sea of his confusion. The days in space that he didn't think of her were scarce, admittedly. Where was she, anyways? Had GLaDOS really let her go? Surely not.

 _"-But, of course, then you overthrew me and made quite the mess of my laboratory... That whole thing really set me back a few months on schedule.. Do you know how long it takes to restock deadly neurotoxin? It isn't cheap or timely, I assure you... But I digress..."_

Wheatley, against the better judgement he still seemed to lack, decided to speak up, "Yes, that was a bit of a mess, but..what has this got to do with me?" Speaking felt odd, as well... His usually crisp words were reduced to a slurred sort of drawl, more pinpricks shooting through his body at the slightest movement.

She narrowed her optic slightly as she overlooked him once more. He was just as _Wheatley_ as before. What a shame. _"The scientists at Aperture were experimenting on whether uploading an intelligence into a computer was possible... I was the product of their tests. They planned to go further with it, to see if the opposite was possible..but of course, they were thereafter decommissioned... leaving behind so much unexplored territory.. So much potential for testing."_

Wheatley frowned, opening his mouth to say something, but before he could actually get anything out, something dawned on him- he had a **mouth.**

He quickly scrambled to touch it, reaching up with his- oh bloody hell he had hands too- He had hands, and he couldn't feel them.

 _"It'll take a while for you to adjust to the new body, I'm sure.. you won't feel much of anything for a while. You've only just woken up...it'll take your heart a while before it can circulate blood through you. Once that happens, you should be able to feel things just fine.. that is, unless your nerves were fried from the transition. I'm not really sure, yet. I've no idea how reversing the upload process will affect you.. You're the first we've tried it on... Isn't it exciting to be a part of something to fascinating?_

 _"Aren't you excited? I know I am..."_

* * *

 **And there we have it! The first chapter is finished. I've been postponing this for so long, it's nice to finally put it up. Let me know what you all think, and feel free to give me some tips, suggestions, etc! I want you all to be a part of this story, and to help shape it. Thank you for sticking around through the first portion of exposition, and I hope to see you in my next upload! -V**


	2. Chapter 2

The horror of the situation reflected clearly in Wheatley's growing optics- er, _eyes._ He scrambled to push himself up off of the operating table, only for his knees to buckle under him and cause him to crash to the cold, unforgiving floor. Another stream of babbles escaped his uncoordinated lips, pure panic unable to cohere any of the jumbled thoughts streaming through his mind.

GLaDOS, of course, appeared unconcerned by his stress. _"Do be careful, won't you? I worked so hard to preserve that body. We wouldn't want you damaging it before the test has even really begun. After all, we're just getting started,"_ She purred out, her computerized voice echoing throughout the seemingly endless chamber.

"T-This- This can't be right-" Wheatley was having a difficult time grasping the situation. "I must be dreaming.. that's it, I'm definitely- definitely dreaming.. Do AIs dream?" He pushed himself into a sitting position once more, limbs wobbling with the weight of his body. "Bloody hell- they don't do they?" His hands quickly patted down the exterior of his fleshy cage, confirming that the structure of it was in fact that of a human. He might not have been very good at his job of tending to the test subjects, but he was definitely qualified enough to recognize one.

 _"The more I listen to you, the more I miss running on 1.1 volts of energy,"_ Her time as a potato had been far from pleasant, but at least there were those times she could tune out what was going on around her for a bit, just by overriding the capacity of the battery. It was a relief knowing that she had been spared from some of his rants and rambles while she was out. _"As much as I would love to see you struggle with comprehending the body on your own, we've hardly the time for that..."_

Thus, the inevitable pleading began.

"No.. No no no no, no you can't do this to me-" He begged, limbs shaking with both fear and inexperience, much like a baby deer taking its first steps.. Though the deer would likely have more coordination than the lanky human all but flailing about in the middle of the facility.

 _"Can't I?"_ She questioned with a twinge of amusement in her tone. _"You should be thanking me, really.. After everything you did to wreck my facility, I should have left you out there, or killed you on the spot. It's a wonder how I've left you alive for this long. I've even given you a promotion, all the way up to lab rat."_

"Oh, what? Now hang on, I think I'm above rodent status! I was running this place while you were out of commission for however many years..." He hesitated momentarily, "Er...well, I certainly helped! I took care of every single human in the relaxation chambers for decades! Maybe even longer than that!" He defended himself, "Which, haha, by the way proves that I, in fact, am _not_ a moron-"

The AI's voice went deadpan, growing weary once more of his babbling, _"Yes, I'm sure the test subjects would thank you if they weren't already decomposing."_

"You know what? I'm not going to fall for any of this. Nope! You're just trying to get into my head.. Yeah, that's it! I certainly won't let you. Nope. I'm far too clever for that. It's all the books, really. Does an AI some good.. Point is: I'm already warming up to this body! I don't miss my old one at all... No rail to tell me where to go.. No blinding flashlights... No battery life.. I'm faring quite well, if you ask me-"

 _"Quiet,"_ Her ever-so icy tone needed not be raised to strike the right chord inside of the newly displaced human, immediately quieting him down. _"Personally, I'd give you a few hours before getting yourself killed out there... But who knows.. Hypotheses aren't always correct.._

 _"Either way...I'm eager to see how you screw this one up."_ A heavy metal claw descended from the ceiling, the very same one that had crushed his optic what seemed like ages ago. It swiftly latched onto the back of the patient gown he wore with a vice grip only capable of a machine under _Her_ control, pulling him to an uncertain standing position. It then released him briefly, rearing back momentarily before jabbing him hard in the chest, causing him to stumble backwards several steps and into the expectant doors of the glass elevator, which thereafter slid open behind him, taking away the surface he had steadied himself on. The glass collided with his head with a dull thud as he fell backwards into the mechanism.

The surprise registered on his expression clearly as he processed her wording, "'Out there'? Out where? Out there as in... _out there_ , out there?" The doors closing in front of him muffled his speech heavily, much to GLaDOS's pleasure. Wheatley spent the majority of his sentience attached to a management rail, or in the arms of the sole remaining test subject...The rest was spent flying aimlessly through the cosmos. He had never gotten so much as a glimpse of the outside world, what it was like outside of the facility.. He was only just warming up to being back under the artificial light of the facility once again, an environment he was accustomed to, and now he was leaving again?

Wheatley brought a fist to the glass in a feeble attempt to break free, immediately wishing he hadn't and cradling his now bruised hand against his bony chest. "Bloody hell! Are all humans this fragile?" The way the stone-eyed woman had moved and seeing all she had endured, he would have assured humans were much more durable than what was being demonstrated by his own body..

The impact- as weak as it was -sent his knees into another period of uncertainty, wobbling and falling out from underneath him, leaving him on the floor of the elevator as it abruptly shot up into the air, the ominous yellow optic of the facility's ruler trailing him with a sort of satisfaction about her as he was rocketed from her lair.

Did she call it a lair? He never really had heard what she referred to her chamber as. He certainly liked the feel of the term 'lair' when he was in charge, but-

Right, not important..

* * *

It felt like ages before the lift stopped in its tracks, jolting Wheatley unpleasantly as it ceased the rapid movement it had adopted for such an extended period of time. The flimsy metal door before him swung open, and the lift seemed to eject him before he had a chance to act. The sudden light that filtered through his pupils caused him to release a slight noise of distress as he was momentarily blinded. The sensation was quite reminiscent of his first time operating the built-in flashlight back when he was still...him. _I thought we were done with the flashlights,_ he thought to himself indignantly as he tried to rub the bleariness from his sockets.

He fell to his knees once again, vision spotting back to life in time for him to swing around and gawk at the door just as it slammed shut behind him. With a throbbing in his skull, he managed to stumble to his feet, the body's legs weak from what was possibly centuries of inactivity.

The first thing he noticed about the world was yellow. A dusty sort of yellow filling his vision. The color was something he was unfamiliar to seeing in such a large dosage.. The same applied to the vibrant blue painting the backdrop. There was something...bright- impossibly bright, just behind a large, white pouf of...something, just hanging in the ceiling of whatever terrarium he was released into.

Abruptly, the object multiplied in its intensity, causing Wheatley to shut his eyes and look away, rubbing them frantically once more, caught off guard by the sudden bout of stinging pain. "What in the world is that?" Whatever it was, he didn't like it...

The second thing he noticed was how the area seemed to caress his body. It was as if a giant fan was starting and restarting somewhere in the distance, blowing puffs of air at him in uncertain increments. The facility had always been rather cold, as far as he could tell with what limited temperature sensitivity he had possessed at the time, but.. what came next was something the facility certainly didn't have.

As the harsh ball of light peeked out once again, the field of yellow twinkled and swayed with joy, leaning up to meet its embrace. A sudden warmth overcame him, and a brief moment of panic overcame him- the feeling rather similar to how his processors felt before his system overheated, and he quickly decided that finding shelter was a must, until whatever it was up there decided to hide again.

After the colors, after the harsh light, and after the odd sensations cascading over him from his surroundings, one other thing stood out blindingly obvious to him..

He was alone.

* * *

 **"Thank you all so much for the support I've received on the scraps of story I've posted so far! Hopefully, it'll evolve into a proper narrative soon enough, with your help! Feel free to let me know what you'd like to see come from this fic, as I'm always open to feedback! Thanks again!" -V**


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